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walmartparkinglotI really like whenever everyone else in my house is asleep, excluding myself -- it's really nice and tranquil, I guess. I had Atlas testing and tutoring at 9:45 a.m. to attend today. I feel like I did a good job on my interim testing, so hopefully I get removed from tutoring and can go back to eating sprinkles in the morning, or whatever I do to wake up so early for. My family left me alone at home today because of testing and tutoring, and the whole 'home alone, aahhhh' experience wasn't even as good as I thought it'd be. It didn't exactly feel lonely/depressing either, just empty, but in a neutral and not 'cynical' way. In between my 8 a.m. testing and tutoring, I texted my dad about my mom's 'skittles are turning kids gay' theory, and he got really upset at me, lol. He even called me 'Zainab', and it probably wasn't a spelling mistake either. Considering how Zainab's a common Yemeni name, he probably just forgot how to spell my name, which he has in the past with 'Zaina'. Maybe changing my name to Zamir would benefit more people than I thought it would, because apparently Zainah's too difficult to understand.
I remember ~2 years ago, me and my dad were driving home, but my dad chose the road where a fucking train was cruising by, so we just had to stop for a bit. For some weird-ass reason, he showed me this little red light coming from his gun. I was really confused at first because I didn't know where the light was coming from, until I looked at my dad whose gun was literally just in his hand. Okay, I know this is probably going to sound like complete bullshit, but I'm being so honest when I say this:
My dad proceeded to look me dead in face (I'm not sure if he was looking straight at me when he said this, but he said it nevertheless), ahem, 'this is for them' or some shit like that. He was referring to this group of black kids standing on the front porch of this house beside our car, and then he called them hoodlums or some bullshit like that. Dad, omg, you're so funny, ahaaha... please put that down, ahahahah
My mom's black so idfk why he said that at all. I'm also pretty sure he said the n-word that day too, and when I asked my mom about this, she just said it was okay because he was married to a black woman and had a lot of black friends or wtv. Do I have to be racist to be the perfect son in his eyes as well? I don't wanna do that.
Also, one time I was practically begging him to let me ride Collins to the park down our street (not too far, but I understand how he'd be resistant to that idea), and that was the first time he brought up taking my bike away when I turned 13. Me, confused as hell, asked him if he was joking, and then he just looked at me with this smile on his face, and asked me if I was going to cry. No. No, I wasn't. I was smiling because I thought he was obviously kidding, but I guess he saw it as me trying to mask my emotions or some shit. And he said it in this way that sounded less like a 'are you crying? Don't cry, it's not that bad' and more of a 'are you crying? What for?' kind of way.
We went to the park today, and I got to swing on the swings for, like, 5 minutes before we had to go home for my sister's testing. Now that it's getting warmer, I'm really hoping that my mom takes me to the park more because swings r cool. I only started playing on the swings whenever we went to the park because I saw this woman playing on the swings all alone, and I wanted to do that, too. I also did my Lexia today :-)
I've also been thinking about making Sugarcult in Tomodachi Life because I recently got it working on my phone, but I always hesitate to do shit I really want to do for some reason, and that always leads to me not playing a game for months: One Hour One Life, Niche: a Genetics Survival Game, The Sims 2, etc.
Anyways, I have to get my ass in the shower because my mom beats it.
Nightnight
Also, I was playing Bouncing Off The Walls - Sugarcult in the car today, because I was the only one who had songs downloaded onto my phone (A.K.A., I was the only one who could play songs without the wifi), and my brother told me that he really liked the song. He... he likes a song from a band who isn't MCR... I'm so proud of you.
-Zainab
I remember ~2 years ago, me and my dad were driving home, but my dad chose the road where a fucking train was cruising by, so we just had to stop for a bit. For some weird-ass reason, he showed me this little red light coming from his gun. I was really confused at first because I didn't know where the light was coming from, until I looked at my dad whose gun was literally just in his hand. Okay, I know this is probably going to sound like complete bullshit, but I'm being so honest when I say this:
My dad proceeded to look me dead in face (I'm not sure if he was looking straight at me when he said this, but he said it nevertheless), ahem, 'this is for them' or some shit like that. He was referring to this group of black kids standing on the front porch of this house beside our car, and then he called them hoodlums or some bullshit like that. Dad, omg, you're so funny, ahaaha... please put that down, ahahahah
My mom's black so idfk why he said that at all. I'm also pretty sure he said the n-word that day too, and when I asked my mom about this, she just said it was okay because he was married to a black woman and had a lot of black friends or wtv. Do I have to be racist to be the perfect son in his eyes as well? I don't wanna do that.
Also, one time I was practically begging him to let me ride Collins to the park down our street (not too far, but I understand how he'd be resistant to that idea), and that was the first time he brought up taking my bike away when I turned 13. Me, confused as hell, asked him if he was joking, and then he just looked at me with this smile on his face, and asked me if I was going to cry. No. No, I wasn't. I was smiling because I thought he was obviously kidding, but I guess he saw it as me trying to mask my emotions or some shit. And he said it in this way that sounded less like a 'are you crying? Don't cry, it's not that bad' and more of a 'are you crying? What for?' kind of way.
We went to the park today, and I got to swing on the swings for, like, 5 minutes before we had to go home for my sister's testing. Now that it's getting warmer, I'm really hoping that my mom takes me to the park more because swings r cool. I only started playing on the swings whenever we went to the park because I saw this woman playing on the swings all alone, and I wanted to do that, too. I also did my Lexia today :-)
I've also been thinking about making Sugarcult in Tomodachi Life because I recently got it working on my phone, but I always hesitate to do shit I really want to do for some reason, and that always leads to me not playing a game for months: One Hour One Life, Niche: a Genetics Survival Game, The Sims 2, etc.
Anyways, I have to get my ass in the shower because my mom beats it.
Nightnight
Also, I was playing Bouncing Off The Walls - Sugarcult in the car today, because I was the only one who had songs downloaded onto my phone (A.K.A., I was the only one who could play songs without the wifi), and my brother told me that he really liked the song. He... he likes a song from a band who isn't MCR... I'm so proud of you.
-Zainab
