Zainah's Precious Little Life

He-he-he-hellooo

I feel like waking up at 6 every morning is a healthier alternative to waking up at 5, but waking up at 5 makes me feel cooler.
I'm also writing this late because I spent 6 p.m. (A.K.A., the time I usually write these entries) on doing my Classkick assignment after procrastinating for 5ish hours. I also read that My Chem Fast and Furious fic during those 5 hours, and I've only read ~11 chapters in the span of, like, two days(?), so now I feel like I'm reading it at a snail's pace. But the fic is 120k words long and is currently 19 out of their assigned amount of 25 chapters, so maybe I'm just overreacting.

My dad came to my room today and took off my headphones, and then he was all like ''Zainah, a little birdie told me you've been cussing, (sumthin) no more saying cuss words!'' And he slapped my laptop a couple of times before leaving. He also told my sister that she shouldn't be too upset about the baby on its way, because he needs to raise 3 daughters if he wants to go to heaven. And then he said 6 daughters... and then he said 7 (I'm not even joking) because he needs one for each deadly sin or something like that. I think he might be on Galaxy Gas again, but that's just my humble opinion. My sister googled this whole 'you have to raise 3 daughters to go to heaven!' after he left, and it was indeed bullshit, so she sent him a screenshot of it, and he said ''Put father,'' because she had typed in person in the search bar, and even when she put 'father, it still said it was bullshit. I don't think he replied to that, lol.
Also, my dad has four daughters, but his parents raised them because he was 20 and couldn't man up--which is the exact opposite of what I'd do if I got a girl preg.

One time, back in May, I had been listening to IFHY - Tyler, The Creator, and while I was listening to it, my dad ended up overhearing it (I didn't wear headphones back then for whatever reason) and called my name. He was on the front porch, holding one of those cans of Galaxy Gas (Idfk if you'd call those things cans or not, but I digress), and he told me to 'be careful about what you listen to,' and something else similar to that. And then he crashed into a light pole on his way to work that day. I still listen to IFHY - Tyler, The Creator, from time to time. Also, the whole car accident shit barely affected my dad, just made it so he can only legally drive to work and back. He also blamed the fact that he chose to puff Galaxy Gas on my family and me, not wanting to visit some of our family members in Egypt. Weird.
Goodnight,

-Zainah

After I had finished writing my previous entry and making sure everyone in my household was in their beds, I snuck into the living room and just fooled around on my phone for a bit before moving into my room because of how cold it was. At around 9:19 AM, I was just lying in my bed and then for some stupid reason the ringer goes off and now my dad's home and now I don't get to stay up and read My Chem Fast and Furious au fanfic. Thanks a lot, dad.

I jumped out of bed the moment my alarm went off and made my bed, mostly because it's Monday and I'd feel greatly disappointed in myself if I were to just stay in bed when I have shit to do. I really didn't have too much to do today: Science, English, and a tutoring session at 9:45. I'm not sure if I already wrote about this, but because my family usually go shopping early in the morning, my tutoring session being at 9:45 AM was truly just a nuisance. So, I decided to write my teacher an email asking if I could maybe switch my tutoring sessions (1:15 on Mondays, 9:45 on Tuesdays), but I didn't specify a reason why I needed to switch sessions, or I probably wrote it in an extremely vague way, idk--so, in his reply, he asked me what the reason was and that he could only change the ccs if I had some kind of doctor's appointment, or something like that. So, for almost the rest of the day, I dreaded what I'd write in my follow-up email. I really don't know why, but writing the email made me feel like I was signing my life away, so I read that Fast and Furious My Chem fanfic to cope.

Just like always, my little brother ran around in Walmart and Kroger... I really can't, man.
My sister snitched on him to my dad while we were picking him up from work/handing the car over to him (ik it sounds complicated, but it really isn't), but he really didn't say anything to her or literally anyone while he was driving the car back to our house. I could tell my sister was upset, not because I could tell by her mannerisms or the way she was walking, but because I'd be upset if I snitched on my brother to my dad just for him to not do shit about it. But he ended up scolding my brother and taking away his VR, bye-bye.
Oh, and I grabbed this 2-liter bottle of Sprite at my dad's store.
Oh, and some cookies n' cream ice cream, too.

I got my Lexia done by just having the tab open and reading, you guessed it, that My Chem Fast and Furious fic on my phone.
I also dreaded doing my Classkick, so I did something way better.. reading My Chem fanfic!!!!! but Fast and Furious!!!!! But when the time where I felt like I'd be more upset with myself if I didn't do the Classick, whether than when I was doing the Classkick, I ended up getting like one full slide done before laying down on my dad's bed in his cold-ass room, blasting Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) at 50ish%.
Anyways, I also fully downloaded those songs onto my phone, so now I have some more songs to listen to the next time I go back to riding my bike outside (, basically whenever the snow decides to give up and melt away.)
Anywaysx2, I'm probably going to read that mcr fanfic one more time before I go to sleep just because I can. And my also said that my siblings and I aren't allowed to cuss anymore, and some random lady hugged me at Walmart while saying I looked like her niece... ok, auntie.
Later
OH NO HE'S BACK NOOOO
this day just got a hundred times worse i hate this


-Zainah

Hi
Here are some things I didn't include in my previous entry:
When my little brother was crying because he broke his trophy made out of building blocks, it reminded me of when I had broken one of my guitar strings while tuning it, and how, just like him, I just sat there and cried. For ~3 minutes until I picked up my phone and read vamp au frerard... for the second time. And then I couldn't figure out how to replace the string, so I just started bawling my eyes out again. 
Also, the tooth I wrote about three entries ago finally fell out while I was eating a brownie. 

I had this dream where I knew I was in a dream, or at least that my reality was fake, and I found this girl who believed/knew the same, and then we made out. My alarm went off though, so I couldn't continue to dream about having a girlfriend. 
I got up at 5 and was out of the bathroom by 5:50am. I had tutoring and a math cc, and my stupid Science teacher didn't add any of her class's lessons onto my calendar, so I had to complete a bunch of overdue shit at 6 in the morning. I also had this math IXL to do, which, following the pattern of all the other math IXL things I've done, it was really simple. 
We finished Jumanji today, and it was nice to watch with my family--excluding my dad. And while I'm on the topic of my dad, he decided to get up relatively early compared to when he got up yesterday. I'm glad he remembered that he has to feed those cats that appreciate him so much. I made my sister watch this I Do - Placebo mv made in The Sims 2 about this trans girl, and she said the plot was nice, but she hated the guy's singing. I've told her about Placebo and how I thought the lead singer was really cool, but I'm pretty sure she forgot that Brian Molko is from Placebo, or she wasn't paying attention when Placebo was credited as the band behind the song being used in the TS2 mv. 

Get Busy or Get Busy Dying (a bunch of bullshit I don't feel like writing into this entry) is such a god awful song and it physically pains me to listen to it. Does that make me some kind of poser because I don't like the emotional poetry or something? It's just so annoying.
Later

-Zainah

Hiiii

I woke up at 5 but laid in bed until 5:24am and were out of the bathroom by 6.
I got put into math tutoring so... yeah. The tutoring cc overlapped with my math cc at 1:20, so I told my mom about it, and she told me to write an email to my math teacher saying I couldn't attend the cc because of my tutoring, but I felt like I could get away with not going to my math cc by telling my tutoring instructor that my attendance in the math cc was mandatory. And for the rest of the day until 1:20, she'd ask me if I'd had written the email and I was like ''Not yet,'' because the thought of writing the email hadn't even crossed my mind.
It was really early in the morning, and all I could think of was how cold it was in my room (it was ~16 degrees outside), when I saw that the only lesson I could see on my calendar (remember this) was already completed; I don't know why my teacher added the same lesson twice, but I didn't mind it :).

My mom told me to put on my eyeliner today and that I shouldn't just be playing with it, she also asked me what I want for my birthday, and I said jewelry (bracelets, earrings, etc.) because that was all I could think of. Later that day, probably 3 hours later, my mom started to my grandpa on the phone about my eyeliner, the eyeliner she told me to put on, mind you... mama :(

We went to Walmart and to the park and back...
I going to be completely honest when I say this, I'm practically just dragging my fingers across the keyboard at this point that's how disinterested I am in this. We went to my grandparents' house today, and my sister, little brother, and I watched Supernanny on their tv. But my brother kept whining and whining about stupid shit the entire time. Forgot to mention this, but my brother had asked my mom if we could go back to the house and get his phone, and my mom said no, but he just kept whining and whining about it, so she hit him... and then this caused him to just, wander off.

This isn't the first time he's tried to run off in Walmart; he did the same a year ago in Jonesboro, and I had to be the one to bring him back then.
And for some stupid, dumb, idiotic, moronic, bastardly reason, my sister and mom's approach to this is to always let him wander the fucking store like it's nothing. Why
I don't get it, this is your brother, your son, and you're just gonna let him wander Walmart ALOOONNEEE????
I followed my little brother and kept saying, ''Khalid, come back here, momma's going to hit you again,'' but he wouldn't listen so I picked him up and ran back to my mom omfg

Whyuuuuhhhh
I know this sound's stupid, and that I'm complaining about something I made myself do, but hello?? that's my six-year-old brother, I'm not letting him wander Walmart alone, I'm a good person, I eat my veggies.
Off-topic but it's so cold in my room right now, but our electrical bill is already high enough, so I don't wanna turn my heater on right now
Also, my MCR fanatic of a brother kept asking me to play The Ghost of You on piano, I DONT EVEN PLAY PIANO???? leave me alone please
And then he asked for WTTBP and then he asked for this toy I was playing with and golly
I didn't like today if you couldn't tell. I managed to do what I said I'd do earlier in this entry, which is lying to my tutoring instructor and saying that my math cc needed my attendance, and she let me leave to go to my math cc. But the funny thing is, I told my math teacher about it, Ms(?). Irwin, and she said I should just go to my tutoring cc, but I didn't because I had already left and idefk what I'm writing about anymore; I didn't go my tutoring cc, that's it.

The only good thing to come out of today is me doing my laundry and my dad bringing me home ice cream, thank you pa-pa. I also really wanted to paint my nails today, but I couldn't because I had my laundry to do, and I was too worried about this stupid fucking classkick that I haven't even completed.
I feel like I should just take a break from writing entries or just steer clear of them on days that me and my family go out shopping, and I come home feeling drained. But I probably won't, though. My little brother also attempted to wander off at my hometown's Walmart because my mom got mad at him again, so I had to drag him back then because no one else was gonna do it. I also looked at Walmart's magazines and pointed out a Beatles one to my sister, because I've been getting a lot of Beatles content on my fyp and I don't know why anymore. I tried listening to their album 'Abbey Road' or something I forgot, but I didn't care for it so I played mychem instead. 
I'm trying to down The Sims 3 on my school computer because it has more storage than my main computer, and I'm probably just gonna download the eps I want from archive.org.
I had this really big obsession with The Sims a year ago, specifically The Sims 3 (but there was this time I played The Sims 2 for 6 hours straight), so I ended up asking my mom for the Seasons and Pets pack because... because they're essentials, idiot. But now I want to get the Late Night one and I don't think I should be capitalizing those words but it's fine, as long as it's readable and makes some sense. Vampire sims and a folder filled to the brim with cc here I come :DD My teacher also commented on my eyeliner and said I look sassy, and then I proceeded to make a neopets account during the math cc
Lateor... have I used that before?

-Zainah

Hallo

Yesterday, my dad had asked me to download iTunes on my laptop so he could reset an iPhone (my dad sells iPhones and vapes at his store, and he also vapes. He actually hit a tree while he was driving because his brain was high off of Galaxy Gas, once), and I download it thinking that'd he'd reset the iPhone when he came home and that'd I be asleep. So, the next day, I woke up thinking he had already reset the iPhone, so I kinda just forgot about it. I also had something else to think about; last night, I tried putting some eyeliner on a few weeks after my mom bought it for me. It looked pretty shitty, so I tried taking it off my face with a wet face towel, but it just smudged and stayed on my face. And it was late, so I just slept with the eyeliner on my face, and when I woke up it, somehow, didn't grow legs and jump off my face--and it's still on my face while I'm writing this--but now it looks cute so I'm not too upset.
Next time, I'll focus on applying some to the top and bottom of my eyes and avoid the inner corners.

Anyways, back to the main subject of this entry, my laptop (or the lack thereof...)
I didn't have much to do today, school-wise; guided reading in Social Studies and a couple of video analyses. And I had Senses Fail playing while I did all this (remember this.) So, completely out of the blue, my dad had come out of the bathroom and asked me for my laptop, and I was like, 'whaaaaat? why do you need my laptop?' And he told me it was for iPhone, so I said that I still had school to do, and then he asked me: 'why are you doing school on your main laptop?'

Basically, I didn't explain this to my dad but I plan to tomorrow, my mom asked me to let my little brother use my school computer for until his school sent him his own, and that I'd use my main laptop for school--and I agreed--so I had kind of just abandoned my school laptop even after the school had sent my brother his own. 
My dad also asked me to bring him my charger, but I'd also need a charger for my school laptop that I would have to use today, so I gave him my sister's school laptop's charger because it also charged my main laptop, and I kept my personal charger. 
My dad caught my little brother not paying attention to his coursework (he's 6, hello???), so he started yelling at him, and my little brother started crying. And then he started belittling (6, btw) him for crying, by going, ''You're a man. (sumshit) Why are you crying?'' or whatever he said.

And then he came into my room and saw me listening to music (Senses Fail - Let It Enfold You on my screen), and then he just starts going at it again... ''You're watching movies(???) instead of doing school,'' I say it's music and that I'm listening to it WHILE, keyword: while, I do my coursework, and my sister adds that it helps me focus (it doesn't really, I could study without music, it's just nicer with it playing), And theennn my dad spews out some shit like, ''How does music help you focus? (sum bs) No more devices when you're doing school(???)''
Huhhhhhhh... why? for what reason? I wasn't even on my phone? what'd I do?

Anywaysx2, my dad left with my laptop and charger, and my mom let me keep my phone xo

My school laptop didn't have Microsoft Word, which is what I'm used to doing my guided readings with, and instead it had WordPad. I thought this would be a huge problem, but it didn't take me too long to just download Microsoft Word on my laptop and resume it there. And also, I listened to Sugarcult's album, Eleven, and it was pretty nice :) When I texted my dad to bring me home ice cream, he said no because, in his words, I had ate too much. I really don't know what that meant, but it still hurt.
La... *stops to take a puff of my vape* ter

-Zainah