Merry Christmas!!!
Jan. 24th, 2026 09:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walmartparkinglotHi
My alarm woke me up at 5am but I just turned it off and slept until 7am (this action will have consequences.) I woke up and my mom said happy birthday to me and let me change my hair back to its original style. Then she told my dad he was going to go to hell for some random reason, and because my dad is such an awesome Muslim, this comment left him so flabbergasted, that he left the house without saying happy birthday to me. My mom also took photos of my siblings and I in the 4-inch snow that everyone was so scared of. It was fun running in the snow though and I'll probably do it again, tomorrow. We watched Black Phone 2, and I liked it a lot. Gwen's hair looked really nice and it's how I want my hair to look in the future.
I'm this close to cutting my hair, but I'm scared it'll look like shit, so I'll probably just straighten it. My birthday cake tasted really good as well; chocolate on chocolate... (twirls my hair)
In my last entry, I wrote about how anxious I was when it came to asking my dad if I could work at his store after I turned 13, but now I've missed the opportunity of being able to talk to my dad as soon as he went into the bathroom to do his hair because I decided that my alarm, my alarm that has never did me any bad, was getting in the way of my precious dreaming so I turned it off. So, now I have to wait until tomorrow to talk to my dad because asking him over text is gonna be hard because commas don't exist to my dad (he uses the audio-to-text feature or sumthin.)
I painted my sister's nails today as requested of a fine gentleman like myself, and I'm thinking about reading vampire-focused manga because I read a vamp au frerard fanfic (puh-lease don't ask) that was really well-written, and now I'm obsessed. On the topic of fanfic, I've been thinking about writing one because, if you couldn't tell, I'm already so good at writing 300+ words daily so I don't think writing a fanfic would be a problem. Also, it's just fanfiction, nothing too harmless or too important, and writing one could be fun. I just don't have anything to write about.
I'm kind of just now realizing that you don't know how I sound because... I don't need to elaborate, do I???
I started liking how my voice sounded sometime in 2023 when I used to play Gorilla Tag on my Oculus a lot, and I didn't want anyone to know that I was a girl. And I liked being labeled as a boy while playing those kinds of games; it made me feel more manly and I played a lot better that way. Whenever someone did mistake me as a girl, I'd either immediately leave or stick my fingers in my ears and pretend I didn't hear them. I also named myself 'Gee' because I didn't know what to name myself, so whenever anything or anyone refers to Gerard as 'Gee' I silently mourn my lost Gorilla Tag account (idk what happened to it :(.) I liked feeling like an older brother whenever I defended kids on Penguin Paradise, before getting my ass handed to me by a bunch of eight-year-olds;; I also didn't wear deodorant back then even though my mom encouraged me to. I asked my sister about this recently, and if I stinked, and she said that I sometimes did... even more similarities I shared with Gerard back then. It's 9:30pm rn, so I should be in bed by now, but this entry won't tag itself o7
Also, Your Lucky Day In Hell is still a beautifully numb song. One time I was playing on my VR, and my dad yelled at me (not in a mean way, just in a way to tell me to get out of his way because I was swinging my arms around), and I got sad and ran into the room that I now stay in a lot (the room next to my family's living room, A.K.A. the 'classroom') and cried while listening to Jealous - Eyedress. It wasn't like there were just small, little tears falling from eyes, I remember full-on crying in the room next to my dad and him just doing nothing about it. It's not like this really upset me, I laugh about it with my sister because it's funny to think about someone crying to this really edgy, emo-ass song because their dad was afraid of them hitting him. But I hate how he reminds me of myself, and how I don't know how to comfort my little brother whenever someone upsets him. I also listened to Mama's boy - Dominic Fike a lot back then, and I used to sing it whenever I played Penguin Paradise. Nobody - Mitski was also a pretty popular song around that time, too. I still imagine myself as this really cool, empathetic 12-year-old boy--13 now.
Anyways, Goodnight.
-Zainah
My alarm woke me up at 5am but I just turned it off and slept until 7am (this action will have consequences.) I woke up and my mom said happy birthday to me and let me change my hair back to its original style. Then she told my dad he was going to go to hell for some random reason, and because my dad is such an awesome Muslim, this comment left him so flabbergasted, that he left the house without saying happy birthday to me. My mom also took photos of my siblings and I in the 4-inch snow that everyone was so scared of. It was fun running in the snow though and I'll probably do it again, tomorrow. We watched Black Phone 2, and I liked it a lot. Gwen's hair looked really nice and it's how I want my hair to look in the future.
I'm this close to cutting my hair, but I'm scared it'll look like shit, so I'll probably just straighten it. My birthday cake tasted really good as well; chocolate on chocolate... (twirls my hair)
In my last entry, I wrote about how anxious I was when it came to asking my dad if I could work at his store after I turned 13, but now I've missed the opportunity of being able to talk to my dad as soon as he went into the bathroom to do his hair because I decided that my alarm, my alarm that has never did me any bad, was getting in the way of my precious dreaming so I turned it off. So, now I have to wait until tomorrow to talk to my dad because asking him over text is gonna be hard because commas don't exist to my dad (he uses the audio-to-text feature or sumthin.)
I painted my sister's nails today as requested of a fine gentleman like myself, and I'm thinking about reading vampire-focused manga because I read a vamp au frerard fanfic (puh-lease don't ask) that was really well-written, and now I'm obsessed. On the topic of fanfic, I've been thinking about writing one because, if you couldn't tell, I'm already so good at writing 300+ words daily so I don't think writing a fanfic would be a problem. Also, it's just fanfiction, nothing too harmless or too important, and writing one could be fun. I just don't have anything to write about.
I'm kind of just now realizing that you don't know how I sound because... I don't need to elaborate, do I???
I started liking how my voice sounded sometime in 2023 when I used to play Gorilla Tag on my Oculus a lot, and I didn't want anyone to know that I was a girl. And I liked being labeled as a boy while playing those kinds of games; it made me feel more manly and I played a lot better that way. Whenever someone did mistake me as a girl, I'd either immediately leave or stick my fingers in my ears and pretend I didn't hear them. I also named myself 'Gee' because I didn't know what to name myself, so whenever anything or anyone refers to Gerard as 'Gee' I silently mourn my lost Gorilla Tag account (idk what happened to it :(.) I liked feeling like an older brother whenever I defended kids on Penguin Paradise, before getting my ass handed to me by a bunch of eight-year-olds;; I also didn't wear deodorant back then even though my mom encouraged me to. I asked my sister about this recently, and if I stinked, and she said that I sometimes did... even more similarities I shared with Gerard back then. It's 9:30pm rn, so I should be in bed by now, but this entry won't tag itself o7
Also, Your Lucky Day In Hell is still a beautifully numb song. One time I was playing on my VR, and my dad yelled at me (not in a mean way, just in a way to tell me to get out of his way because I was swinging my arms around), and I got sad and ran into the room that I now stay in a lot (the room next to my family's living room, A.K.A. the 'classroom') and cried while listening to Jealous - Eyedress. It wasn't like there were just small, little tears falling from eyes, I remember full-on crying in the room next to my dad and him just doing nothing about it. It's not like this really upset me, I laugh about it with my sister because it's funny to think about someone crying to this really edgy, emo-ass song because their dad was afraid of them hitting him. But I hate how he reminds me of myself, and how I don't know how to comfort my little brother whenever someone upsets him. I also listened to Mama's boy - Dominic Fike a lot back then, and I used to sing it whenever I played Penguin Paradise. Nobody - Mitski was also a pretty popular song around that time, too. I still imagine myself as this really cool, empathetic 12-year-old boy--13 now.
Anyways, Goodnight.
-Zainah
